d. Tuesday's Sox home opener, Detroit-Boston, looked like a gem a couple of weeks ago. They're a combined 3-10 now. Gotta love the weirdness of baseball.
e. David Ortiz is hitting .115. Here's my quite unwanted advice: Poke three singles to left against those asinine shifts. The only way you can get a hit to the right side is by hitting it over the fence, Papi.
f. Gabe Kapler has two home runs. David Ortiz. Alex Rodriguez, Jason Bay, Bobby Abreu, Adam Dunn and Prince Fielder, combined, have two home runs.
e. How about Rick (six games, three homers, six RBI) Ankiel?
f. The San Francisco Giants might lose 115 games.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
That ends in "ck" somewhere off screen. Anyway, it has been, for most teams, 6 games. There are exactly zero conclusions to be drawn at this point. I know, it's been fun and wacky, or whatever, to watch the Tigers play like the old Tigers. But the season is 1/27th over (I think; it's really late and I just tried that in my head). What exactly will it mean if, 4 minutes into the 3rd quarter of the Cowboys' first game next year, Tony Romo is 7-for-15? My guess is it rhymes with "blabsolutely fucking nothing, because it's so goddamn blurly in the season my brain hurts just thinking about it". Blurrrrrrrrrrgh.
And MY GOD do you not think it's ever occurred to FUCKING ANYONE IN THE ENTIRE RED SOX ORGANIZATION that Papi should, if able, "poke three singles to left"????????And PLEASE allow me to bet against you on the Giants thing.
