Adam Dunn just got traded for a 23-year old pitcher with 28 K in 50 innings of A ball, and 2 PsTBNL. You may otherwise know Adam Dunn as the current bleeping league leader in HR. Dude has a 131 OPS+. Not only that, he's a free agent after this year, so if/when he takes his ball-crushing (in a good way?) bat elsewhere, Arizona will get draft picks. And apparently the Reds have agreed to help pay the remaining $4m he's owed this year.
W. T. F.
It's my understanding that the LA Dodgers could have made a claim and blocked him from getting to AZ (LA's lower in the standings). I suppose the worst that would have happened is that LA would have been stuck paying $4m for yet another outfielder. Admittedly, that seems sort of silly until you realize it's Adam damn Dunn, whose bat would go well in any line-up, and it would have stopped him from getting to the team they're chasing and THEY WOULD GET DRAFT PICKS OUTTA THE WHOLE DEAL at the end of the season.
Am I missing something?
Monday, August 11, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
52 52 52 Week #25: Michigan
In which I examine crappy local sports journalism on a state-by-state basis, progressing through the states in terms of an alphabetical ordering of the heights of their tallest points. Because I can.
Wow. Somehow, some way, I am halfway through this little experiment. No, I'm not sure either, particularly since the last few posts have been written using a combinationof Macs and Spanish-language keyboards, which are just different enough to slow me down something fierce (and why some of my previous posts have diacritics where apostrophes should be). But hey, I'm here, and I might as well keep it going a little longer. Especially when we've got Michigan on tap. 1979-foot Mount Arvon, what have you got tosay for yourself?
1. It only recently became the highpoint of Michigan. For the longest time, people thought nearby Mount Curwood was the tallest. But no, a resurvey in the early eighties discovered Mount Arvon was an entire foot taller. That may have been the most exciting thing that happened to that survey team. I'm not even kidding.
2. It's named after slate. Well, specifically the slate found in Carnarvon, Wales. Aren't you glad you now know that?
3. The land is owned by a paper company. Isn't that just hilariously mundane?
Good stuff. I don't know how many of my readers have tried to guess the sorts of ultra-sophisticated metrics I employ to determine which newspaper I'm going with, but I'll give you one huge hint: if your newspaper is the newspaper of record for the town of Bad Axe, Michigan, you're probably getting chosen. Seriously, Bad Axe? I just hope I live long enough to find a reason to move to a town with a name that awesome. Holy shit, man, just...holy shit. If only the newspaper was called The Bad Axe Blade, I'm pretty sure I could just go ahead and die a happy man. Oh well. The town's name is still plenty more than enough.
So yeah, The Huron Daily Tribune is your newspaper, Paul P. Adams is your writer, and EVERYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER is your topic. Enjoy!
These are just a few of my thoughts on what has transpired at the state and national levels in sports during the past week.
Oh yeah. Let's do this shit.
...Michigan football officially hit the field with new coach Rich Rodriguez and all the baggage he brought with him from West Virginia.
Baggage aside, Rodriguez is a proven winner who has turned around every program he’s been at.
Care to give some context, some analysis of his previous work? If my Internet were any faster (seriously, it's balls molasses slow right now), I'd look it up myself, but I bet there are some interesting comparisons and contrasts one could come up with if you actually talked about his previous work. Nah, not going to do that? Well, OK...
The Wolverines aren’t in need of a complete overhaul, but they could use some tweaking — and that starts with the offense.
With Rodriguez calling the plays, Michigan fans will see something they’ve never seen before — a wide-open spread offense.
Couldn't I get this from, I don't know, a U of M media guide? Is there content here that I'm just missing? Has Central America driven me stir crazy? Sorry...I mean stir loco.
The transition may take a year or two as Rodriguez recruits the right players for his system.
That transition could lead to a less than stellar year for the Wolverines, who open the season ranked No. 24. They probably won’t contend for the Big Ten title, but should make a bowl game.
So almost exactly like last year, just with more realistic expectations going in? Seriously, preseason No. 5 my ass.
Also working against the team and Rodriguez is inexperience as only two starters return on offense and four on defense.
It’s going to take time, but when things begin to click, Michigan fans will be thankful for the hiring of Rich Rodriguez.
I feel like somebody held in total isolation in a cave somewhere could generate this level of bland platitude. That's right, people - this is Joe Morgan territory. Admittedly, Paul P. Adams isn't a national anything, so I should probably be less pissed. But then this happens...
He will return the program to national prominence, it just won’t happen this year.
That's bad grammar, people! That's like a run-on or some shit! And you know how I feel about people who use bad grammar? Well, I hired a surrogate to emote for me...
New topic!
...Mark it down, the Tigers are officially done!
Since trading Ivan Rodriguez for Kyle Farnsworth and his gas can, Detroit is just 1-6 and now sits 8 1/2 games in back of the White Sox in the division.
Man, I bet Kyle Farnsworth is totally to blame!
That’s not to say Farnsworth is totally to blame, but he hasn’t helped.
Yeah, but how much can he help, really? Dude's a relief pitcher. Those guys rank barely above the equipment manager in terms of impact. Well, mostly.
He debuted on Saturday and worked a scoreless inning, but on Sunday, in a pressure situation, he melted down, giving up three runs in a game the Tigers should have won.
So he pitched really well once and really poorly another time? Why, he sounds like...an average relief pitcher. He's not swinging anybody's playoff hopes. Neither was an over-the-hill catcher like Pudge, of course.
A colleague of mine told me on Friday the Tigers were going to get swept by the Rays in a weekend series.
Come Monday, he was right, and with it all hope of making the playoffs might have vanished.
Your colleague accurately predicted one of the three best teams in baseball would beat a below-average team three times in a row? Is your colleague *HUSHED TONES* Nostradamus?
The team answered back by blowing a big lead in the opening game of a critical contest with the White Sox on Tuesday.
Jim Leyland has been threatening to shake things up, but it’s too little, too late.
The Tigers will make a mini-run here and there, but they’re just not good enough to track down the Twins or White Sox.
Yes. That is in all probability accurate.
The rest is more on Brett Favre, which I'll spare you out of kindness, an obit for Skip Caray that I'll leave alone, and a bit on the Panthers suspending Steve Smith that features this as a complete fucking paragraph:
Smith actually busting Lucas’ nose.
That...I just don't have any words for that.
Wow. Somehow, some way, I am halfway through this little experiment. No, I'm not sure either, particularly since the last few posts have been written using a combinationof Macs and Spanish-language keyboards, which are just different enough to slow me down something fierce (and why some of my previous posts have diacritics where apostrophes should be). But hey, I'm here, and I might as well keep it going a little longer. Especially when we've got Michigan on tap. 1979-foot Mount Arvon, what have you got tosay for yourself?
1. It only recently became the highpoint of Michigan. For the longest time, people thought nearby Mount Curwood was the tallest. But no, a resurvey in the early eighties discovered Mount Arvon was an entire foot taller. That may have been the most exciting thing that happened to that survey team. I'm not even kidding.
2. It's named after slate. Well, specifically the slate found in Carnarvon, Wales. Aren't you glad you now know that?
3. The land is owned by a paper company. Isn't that just hilariously mundane?
Good stuff. I don't know how many of my readers have tried to guess the sorts of ultra-sophisticated metrics I employ to determine which newspaper I'm going with, but I'll give you one huge hint: if your newspaper is the newspaper of record for the town of Bad Axe, Michigan, you're probably getting chosen. Seriously, Bad Axe? I just hope I live long enough to find a reason to move to a town with a name that awesome. Holy shit, man, just...holy shit. If only the newspaper was called The Bad Axe Blade, I'm pretty sure I could just go ahead and die a happy man. Oh well. The town's name is still plenty more than enough.
So yeah, The Huron Daily Tribune is your newspaper, Paul P. Adams is your writer, and EVERYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER is your topic. Enjoy!
These are just a few of my thoughts on what has transpired at the state and national levels in sports during the past week.
Oh yeah. Let's do this shit.
...Michigan football officially hit the field with new coach Rich Rodriguez and all the baggage he brought with him from West Virginia.
Baggage aside, Rodriguez is a proven winner who has turned around every program he’s been at.
Care to give some context, some analysis of his previous work? If my Internet were any faster (seriously, it's balls molasses slow right now), I'd look it up myself, but I bet there are some interesting comparisons and contrasts one could come up with if you actually talked about his previous work. Nah, not going to do that? Well, OK...
The Wolverines aren’t in need of a complete overhaul, but they could use some tweaking — and that starts with the offense.
With Rodriguez calling the plays, Michigan fans will see something they’ve never seen before — a wide-open spread offense.
Couldn't I get this from, I don't know, a U of M media guide? Is there content here that I'm just missing? Has Central America driven me stir crazy? Sorry...I mean stir loco.
The transition may take a year or two as Rodriguez recruits the right players for his system.
That transition could lead to a less than stellar year for the Wolverines, who open the season ranked No. 24. They probably won’t contend for the Big Ten title, but should make a bowl game.
So almost exactly like last year, just with more realistic expectations going in? Seriously, preseason No. 5 my ass.
Also working against the team and Rodriguez is inexperience as only two starters return on offense and four on defense.
It’s going to take time, but when things begin to click, Michigan fans will be thankful for the hiring of Rich Rodriguez.
I feel like somebody held in total isolation in a cave somewhere could generate this level of bland platitude. That's right, people - this is Joe Morgan territory. Admittedly, Paul P. Adams isn't a national anything, so I should probably be less pissed. But then this happens...
He will return the program to national prominence, it just won’t happen this year.
That's bad grammar, people! That's like a run-on or some shit! And you know how I feel about people who use bad grammar? Well, I hired a surrogate to emote for me...
New topic!
...Mark it down, the Tigers are officially done!
Since trading Ivan Rodriguez for Kyle Farnsworth and his gas can, Detroit is just 1-6 and now sits 8 1/2 games in back of the White Sox in the division.
Man, I bet Kyle Farnsworth is totally to blame!
That’s not to say Farnsworth is totally to blame, but he hasn’t helped.
Yeah, but how much can he help, really? Dude's a relief pitcher. Those guys rank barely above the equipment manager in terms of impact. Well, mostly.
He debuted on Saturday and worked a scoreless inning, but on Sunday, in a pressure situation, he melted down, giving up three runs in a game the Tigers should have won.
So he pitched really well once and really poorly another time? Why, he sounds like...an average relief pitcher. He's not swinging anybody's playoff hopes. Neither was an over-the-hill catcher like Pudge, of course.
A colleague of mine told me on Friday the Tigers were going to get swept by the Rays in a weekend series.
Come Monday, he was right, and with it all hope of making the playoffs might have vanished.
Your colleague accurately predicted one of the three best teams in baseball would beat a below-average team three times in a row? Is your colleague *HUSHED TONES* Nostradamus?
The team answered back by blowing a big lead in the opening game of a critical contest with the White Sox on Tuesday.
Jim Leyland has been threatening to shake things up, but it’s too little, too late.
The Tigers will make a mini-run here and there, but they’re just not good enough to track down the Twins or White Sox.
Yes. That is in all probability accurate.
The rest is more on Brett Favre, which I'll spare you out of kindness, an obit for Skip Caray that I'll leave alone, and a bit on the Panthers suspending Steve Smith that features this as a complete fucking paragraph:
Smith actually busting Lucas’ nose.
That...I just don't have any words for that.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
This is always fun.
I'm somewhat wary of doing this because there's a decent chance I'm totally wrong, but I don't think Stewart Mandel (or, presumably, his editor at SI.com) knows what "nevertheless" means.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
I think he meant "let alone" in the first one, and "never mind" in the second one. Isn't blogging fun? I am at work.
Exhibit A:
That's a whole lot of coaching changes for one offseason, nevertheless ones that
dramatically changed the fortunes of so many programs for the better.
Exhibit B:
Prior to your e-mail, I was not aware of any ill will I felt toward the Badgers
(or badgers, for that matter), nevertheless a hatred that apparently shows up
"year after year."
I think he meant "let alone" in the first one, and "never mind" in the second one. Isn't blogging fun? I am at work.
All Favre, All the Time
I know I'm kind of infringing on Passive Voice's beat here, but I read something in Peter King's little column about Favre that kind of made me wonder...
At one point, I text-messaged Favre, telling him what I thought -- the team would rather pay him his 2008 salary and not have him play rather than cut him loose.
This text message came back from Favre's phone: "tell ted to release me."
This kind of begs the question, what kind of relationship does Favre really have with PK that the former feels comfortable basically using the latter as a kind of intermediary between himself and his own boss? Is it just me or is this kind of inappropriate?
Oh and please feel free to insert your own Peter King-Brett Favre homo-joke in the comments.
At one point, I text-messaged Favre, telling him what I thought -- the team would rather pay him his 2008 salary and not have him play rather than cut him loose.
This text message came back from Favre's phone: "tell ted to release me."
This kind of begs the question, what kind of relationship does Favre really have with PK that the former feels comfortable basically using the latter as a kind of intermediary between himself and his own boss? Is it just me or is this kind of inappropriate?
Oh and please feel free to insert your own Peter King-Brett Favre homo-joke in the comments.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Eh.
Peter King at Packers' camp:
You're allowed to edit your thoughts and stuff, you know.
I'm a "fan" of the Patriots, I guess. (I lost interest in them last year, though. I dunno. I think I was mad that they let David Harris get to the Jets or something, and that was that.) Most of my Boston relatives are too. Anyway, the point is this: are Pats fans particularly intense? My impression was that, in all matters non-Red-Sox, New England fans are kinda blah. I know my relatives could name Brady, Welker, Belichick and maybe one or two of the black players. If the Patriots started sucking again, they'd probably just lose interest and go back to whatever they did before 2001.
Conversely, I thought Pack fans were the most intense, fanatical maniacs west of Pittsburgh. I don't get it. Also, it's just a suspicion, but I'm not 100% convinced Peter knows what "in effigy" means. It's not wrong here, it's just...well, suspicious.
Lastly, this week's travel note was about some Hertz workers not knowing Baltimore was in Maryland. Peter?
The Packers jog out to practice. They stretch. They belch and guffaw and prepare. They do drills. They throw and catch and run. And never is heard a discouraging word.Is that...? Really? Home on the Range? Okay.
I start to think three things:Pretty much the same thing, no?1. How well-behaved and wonderfully Green-Bayish they are.
2. What sheep they are.
3. How they wish they could just get on with their football lives and forget the nightmare of the Favre thing and just get on, distraction-free, with the most important thing in their lives -- a new Packer season.
You're allowed to edit your thoughts and stuff, you know.
Even though many of these fans do not like GM Ted Thompson, this is not Philly or Foxboro, where the fans would hang Thompson in effigy. Or worse.
I'm a "fan" of the Patriots, I guess. (I lost interest in them last year, though. I dunno. I think I was mad that they let David Harris get to the Jets or something, and that was that.) Most of my Boston relatives are too. Anyway, the point is this: are Pats fans particularly intense? My impression was that, in all matters non-Red-Sox, New England fans are kinda blah. I know my relatives could name Brady, Welker, Belichick and maybe one or two of the black players. If the Patriots started sucking again, they'd probably just lose interest and go back to whatever they did before 2001.
Conversely, I thought Pack fans were the most intense, fanatical maniacs west of Pittsburgh. I don't get it. Also, it's just a suspicion, but I'm not 100% convinced Peter knows what "in effigy" means. It's not wrong here, it's just...well, suspicious.
Lastly, this week's travel note was about some Hertz workers not knowing Baltimore was in Maryland. Peter?
I weep for our geographical future.?
Peter King adds fuel to the flamers. Flames. Fuel to the fire. Peter King is gay.
If there's anything else worth pointing out in today's MMQB, I'll get to it later. For now, it's a holiday here (Happy BC Day!) and I'm going to go pretend I know how to golf. But first, Peter King finishes an interview with Tony Romo with:
I spent all morning reading Arrested Development quotes, so maybe this seems funnier to me than to anyone else. But still. "...there's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence."
Time for the nightly quarterback meeting. He left me a good deal to chew on.
I spent all morning reading Arrested Development quotes, so maybe this seems funnier to me than to anyone else. But still. "...there's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence."
Sunday, August 3, 2008
52 52 52 Week #24: Wisconsin
In which I examine crappy local sports journalism on a state-by-state basis, progressing through the states in terms of an alphabetical ordering of the heights of their tallest points. Because I can.
I find myself in a Central American internet cafe, using a weird computer with half the keys in the wrong position. Yeah...this post is going to be fun.
This week we’ve got Wisconsin and its 1951-foot tall highpoint, Timms Hill. You know, I’ve gone skiing in Wisconsin. It’s fucking depressing that I didn’t even go as high as Timms fucking Hill. Oh well, know these three things and be merry...
1. It’s got a lookout tower.
2. It’s less than a mile from Highway 86. No, seriously, that’s how fine I’ve got to cut these facts up to get to three. Timms Hill is not interesting. At all.
3. Wait, here’s something interesting: "Originally, Rib Mountain was thought to be the highest point in Wisconsin. However, this was later proved to be incorrect." But however did they manage that? The suspense (or possibly the boredom) is killing me! "While Timms Hill has the highest elevation in the state, Rib Mountain has the largest height differential from the surrounding landscape." Nope, sorry, the fork’s already in my eye.
I thought I might try something a little different by, for the first time in 52 52 52’s surprisingly long-ish history, revisiting an old friend. That’s right, it’s Jeff Sherman from On Milwaukee, who we met way back in this post. So all his diehard fans who keep emailing me for his return can finally shut up. I never thought it’d happen. Anyway, Jeff, your topic is something or other. Take it away.
The latest in Milwaukee's ever-changing restaurant news is that Yanni's Steaks, Chops and Seafood, 540 E. Mason St., has closed, though this rumor has been floated constantly since I wrote about it last September.
Huh...that’s an...odd...thing for a sportswriter to discuss. Although good job on the background research. I like it.
The rumor appears true this time, as numerous calls have not been returned and today the voicemail at the Downtown dining destination is full.
But how can you know for sure? Shouldn’t somebody go there and, like, peek in the windows or something?
Peeks into the windows of the once highly rated restaurant both last night and this morning make it, indeed, appear closed.
Jeff Sherman is officially owning my ass. I am surprisingly OK with this. Still, where’s the sports?
Several area workers and business owners also have said it's closed. The Web design company that Yanni's used couldn't confirm the closing, but Yannismilwaukee.com remains live although its opentable link is down.
I think we all remember that nugget of restauranteur wisdom: "As goes your opentable link, so goes your restaurant." And, with it, the nation. Or so I’ve heard.
That's not official word, but don't bank on Yanni's for lunch or dinner since the doors are locked and voice mail is unattended.
You know, I’ve never even heard of this place until right this second, but I’m still weeping a little bit. Or maybe that’s because it’s been three fucking weeks and I still haven’t seen The Dark Knight. Oh, the pain!
Just this week, most locations of the national restaurant chains of Bennigan's and Steak & Ale abruptly closed and filed for bankruptcy. It's rumored (again, there are always rumors) that a few other Milwaukee area restaurants plan to close their doors in the coming weeks.
I never thought I’d ever say this, but...Wisconsinites need to start eating more. How else will we preserve all those good Bennigan’s franchises?
Got news or buzz about the Milwaukee area dining scene? Use the OnMilwaukee.com Talkbacks.
You know, I get the sense that maybe this dude doesn’t write about sports. Maybe, and this is just a theory, his primary focus is the Milwaukee dining scene and he, you know, just happened to one time write about something sports-related.
Still, aren’t you just glad I managed an entire Wisconsin-sports-related post and didn’t once mention Brett fucking Favre? You’re welcome.
I find myself in a Central American internet cafe, using a weird computer with half the keys in the wrong position. Yeah...this post is going to be fun.
This week we’ve got Wisconsin and its 1951-foot tall highpoint, Timms Hill. You know, I’ve gone skiing in Wisconsin. It’s fucking depressing that I didn’t even go as high as Timms fucking Hill. Oh well, know these three things and be merry...
1. It’s got a lookout tower.
2. It’s less than a mile from Highway 86. No, seriously, that’s how fine I’ve got to cut these facts up to get to three. Timms Hill is not interesting. At all.
3. Wait, here’s something interesting: "Originally, Rib Mountain was thought to be the highest point in Wisconsin. However, this was later proved to be incorrect." But however did they manage that? The suspense (or possibly the boredom) is killing me! "While Timms Hill has the highest elevation in the state, Rib Mountain has the largest height differential from the surrounding landscape." Nope, sorry, the fork’s already in my eye.
I thought I might try something a little different by, for the first time in 52 52 52’s surprisingly long-ish history, revisiting an old friend. That’s right, it’s Jeff Sherman from On Milwaukee, who we met way back in this post. So all his diehard fans who keep emailing me for his return can finally shut up. I never thought it’d happen. Anyway, Jeff, your topic is something or other. Take it away.
The latest in Milwaukee's ever-changing restaurant news is that Yanni's Steaks, Chops and Seafood, 540 E. Mason St., has closed, though this rumor has been floated constantly since I wrote about it last September.
Huh...that’s an...odd...thing for a sportswriter to discuss. Although good job on the background research. I like it.
The rumor appears true this time, as numerous calls have not been returned and today the voicemail at the Downtown dining destination is full.
But how can you know for sure? Shouldn’t somebody go there and, like, peek in the windows or something?
Peeks into the windows of the once highly rated restaurant both last night and this morning make it, indeed, appear closed.
Jeff Sherman is officially owning my ass. I am surprisingly OK with this. Still, where’s the sports?
Several area workers and business owners also have said it's closed. The Web design company that Yanni's used couldn't confirm the closing, but Yannismilwaukee.com remains live although its opentable link is down.
I think we all remember that nugget of restauranteur wisdom: "As goes your opentable link, so goes your restaurant." And, with it, the nation. Or so I’ve heard.
That's not official word, but don't bank on Yanni's for lunch or dinner since the doors are locked and voice mail is unattended.
You know, I’ve never even heard of this place until right this second, but I’m still weeping a little bit. Or maybe that’s because it’s been three fucking weeks and I still haven’t seen The Dark Knight. Oh, the pain!
Just this week, most locations of the national restaurant chains of Bennigan's and Steak & Ale abruptly closed and filed for bankruptcy. It's rumored (again, there are always rumors) that a few other Milwaukee area restaurants plan to close their doors in the coming weeks.
I never thought I’d ever say this, but...Wisconsinites need to start eating more. How else will we preserve all those good Bennigan’s franchises?
Got news or buzz about the Milwaukee area dining scene? Use the OnMilwaukee.com Talkbacks.
You know, I get the sense that maybe this dude doesn’t write about sports. Maybe, and this is just a theory, his primary focus is the Milwaukee dining scene and he, you know, just happened to one time write about something sports-related.
Still, aren’t you just glad I managed an entire Wisconsin-sports-related post and didn’t once mention Brett fucking Favre? You’re welcome.
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