That's right, I'm calling this "The Column Thingy." Originality was never my strong suit.
If you're reading this, it's because I am currently in a campground without internet access. And no, unlike pretty much everyone in my last post, I haven't been kidnapped, I'm just on vacation. Because, as I'm sure you all know, today is July 4, famous throughout these United States as the birthday of Hiram Walker, the grocer and distiller. And Independence Day. But really, mostly Hiram Walker.
Of course, thanks to Blogger Scheduler, I'm really writing this two days beforehand, on July 2. Which, weirdly enough, is entirely appropriate, because independence was really declared on July 2, and it's only the relatively less important adoption of the Declaration of Independence that happened on July 4. John Adams even wrote to his wife that July 2 would be known forever as the most important date in American history. Collectors, ever the scrupulous bunch, simply changed the date to July 4. So yeah, a free history lesson.
Anyway, since I just (from my perspective) wrote that whole Dash Dartwell post, I'm going to keep this one short. I'm really sorry I keep teasing a column and then rather spectacularly failing to deliver, but circumstance is a bitch. I believe it was Rousseau who said that.
Anyway, in lieu of a proper column, I present to you the most American YouTube video I could find. And believe me, I looked. Shockingly, there's a truly worrisome lack of Batman kicking ass for America on the series of tubes. For a while, I was going to embed this video, because I happen to love The Great Dictator and the utterly shameless earnestness of the greatest shattering of the fourth wall in cinematic history, but I thought a long speech by a British expat dressed like Hitler was a bit too much of a mixed message, no matter the context. Still, the link is there, and I certainly don't discourage you checking it out.
So, instead, I present this. Since the original poster had disabled embedding, I had to upload the damn thing myself. You know, because I'm a hero.
Be safe, have a great Independence Day, and I'll see you Sunday.
Interlopin' Djmmm: Wait a minute, I'm the only real American on this here blog? You know what that means....