Saturday, May 10, 2008

Can I Undisown them?

Two things to discuss, both of them having to do with Hanley Ramirez and the Marlins agreeing to a long term contract. (Jesus, I almost wrote "K" instead of "Contract;" Law School has officially eaten my soul.)

First, the World Wide Leader's reporting of the story, at least on the website.

ORLANDO, Florida -- The Florida Marlins and shortstop Hanley Ramírez agreed on a contract extension for six years and $70 million, according to a source who spoke with

A couple of things:

  1. Why is the dateline Orlando? Miami is about 200 miles/a four hour drive from there. Last I checked, the Marlins play in Miami and Orlando doesn't even have a major league club.
  2. I am VERY amused by the fact that the source chose to speak to ESPNdeportes and not an Official Language Speaker at the WWL. Despite rumors to the contrary, Miami IS in fact in the United States, and is not to Cuba what Taiwan is to the People's Republic of China. [Insert hacky but topical lead paint joke here.]
In fact, the fact that "broke" the story gives me a very convenient excuse to post the following:

Can't you just imagine John Kruk and Jason Stark yelling "THEY TOOK OUR JERBS!"

On to my second, more personal point. As has been alluded to by Msr. Micklewhite in this space, I am a Miami native. I love my hometown. There's nowhere else I'd rather be and I root for all the local teams. HOWEVER, I did disown the Marlins after the offseason trade of Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis. In fact, I think I told someone that they were getting the Fredo Corleone treatment from me. (Oh shit! I've created an opportunity for an embed featuring two of my favorite things: The Godfather and Pre-Revolutionary Cuba!)

In any case, now that they've apparently signed Han Ram to a long-term deal that will take him up through his thirtieth birthday, does it make me a bandwagoner to jump back on? 'Cos honestly, if they are keepin' him around, I'm really happy. How happy? This happy:



Passive Voice said...

begin seriousness/
aww fuck an ass. I really wanted him to come back to the Sox for $300trillion/270 years. No Boston fan who isn't a cunt (butthey'realldouches!douchedouchedouches!
-every blogger) could ever complain about getting Beckett and Lowell...but I wish there'd been some way besides Hanley** (and Sanchez, who might just be awesome again some day). He was like...the Sox' only legit prospect when I was growing up. Again, I can't whine about anything Red Sox-related, especially not with Cubs fan Archie patrolling this site, but I still feel sad every time I check the top of the VORP standings.

**I know, there totally wasn't.
/end seriousness

Passive Voice said...

I guess "fuck an ass" and the repetition of the word "douche" don't really pass for seriousness. Maybe "immature heartfelt-ness"?

Passive Voice said...

And, because I don't mean to sound bitter and cunty, I'm glad he at least plays for you guys, djmmm. Enjoy him while you can, because he's gone after you guys win it all.. [checks wikipedia, does quick math] year.

Archie Micklewhite said...

Nah, no worries dude. There are two reasons why I have no issue with your pining for Hanley...

1. I can't criticize the Red Sox for spending to win. Wait, correct that - spending wisely to win. If the Cubs win the World Series in the near future - and since I don't believe in shit like curses or jinxes or whatever I have no problem discussing this openly - it'll be because they spent money at least somewhat wisely. Plus a shitty division and a whole lot of luck.

2. You're no bandwagon fan. A diehard Red Sox fan can say what he wants about the team, as long as he's aware that the success his team has enjoyed should mitigate most of his complaints.

Oh, by the way, Djmmm, love the post (so much embedding!), but why'd you post a picture of Hanley at the end?

Passive Voice said...

Funny, I thought it was a picture of Martinez Lawrence.