Thursday, May 15, 2008

Fighting the in-joke battle on every front...

How's about I share a quick little anecdote? I imagine I'll someday resume my epic rambles, but for now I'm sort of enjoying not having to do that. Also, I am trying desperately to get the mother of all embedded posts off the ground, but it just keeps crashing and burning like so many of these...

Why can't all embedding be that easy? Ah well, soon all will be fixed, hopefully.

Anyway, I was chatting on the phone with my brother last night. I know, this isn't exactly on the same level as seeing Kenan Thompson in a Fat Albert shirt (although I once sat across from Richard Kind...on a bus!), but there's a moderately amusing punchline at the end of this.

My brother is a sophomore in high school, and apparently his American history class was split into groups to present on various decades. His group was assigned the 1920's, and because my brother also likes to pretend he can write (except he might actually be able to), he handled scripting duties for a skit all about the roaring twenties. The very first thing he put in was a moving scene featuring our thirtieth president, Calvin Coolidge.

I won't bore you with lots of facts about Silent Cal (unless it turns out he's also the highpoint of New Mexico, of course), but suffice it to say they're worth looking into. Other than the whole silence thing, he was also sort of a sadistic bastard who did nothing to stop the Great Depression but managed to never get blamed for it. Also he was president for a majority of the twenties, which explains his presence in my brother's skit. My brother tells me that Calvin Coolidge begins the entire epic skit with this moving entrance:

Coolidge: Ya betta ask somebodddaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!

And you can be damn sure this will be preceded by a door motherfucking flying open. Hell, that was my first note to him when he told me his plans. He put it in there because, well, fuck high school, and nobody in his group has yet asked him to remove it. So, today, somewhere in America, a bunch of high schoolers were unwittingly treated* to what I'd like to think is the most random Marmalard reference of all time. I mean, seriously, Calvin Coolidge? Everyone knows Andrew Johnson was way more the Marmalard of presidents.

This is truly a planet of the apes, indeed, Christmas or otherwise.

*I wish I could say "wittingly", but we're talking about a bunch of sixteen-year-old high school dipshits here. So you just know they're all a bunch of ESPN featured commenters.

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