Thursday, May 8, 2008

A few random things for the good of the order...

Some odds and ends that we need to discuss...

1. Considering my posts have, by this point, randomly and tangentially referenced about 70% of the adult population, I guess it was only a matter of time before one of them got caught up in a little bit of a sex scandal. To be fair, it was actually Gregg Easterbrook who originally referenced him back in our 100th post:

9. Cincinnati Bengals: Marc Dann, attorney general of Ohio. At this point, might as well have him on the sideline.

Credit where credit is due - that one's not completely terrible. But why are you linking to Dann's official website when you could link to Wikipedia like a real web denizen (webizen?). How else would you find out about the time he "faced criticism from the Mansfield News Journal and others for telling Warren Tribune-Chronicle reporter Steve Oravecz to perform an anatomically impossible act"? There's just no other way.

You said it, me of about two weeks ago. But it turns out that was just the tip of Mr. Dann's mildly interesting iceberg. Looks like Gregg is going to have to update his go-to reference for Ohio attorney generals. Oh, I do so hope it's first assistant attorney general Tom Winters! I bet Gregg could do some terrific seasonally themed humor, perhaps involving former Olympic swimmer/Figure It Out host Summer Sanders!

I learned all about it from my most trusted news source. I'm sure it'll just kill Buzz Bissinger's soul to learn that, yes, that would be The Daily Show:

2. Speaking of Bissinger, I think I'm officially done with responding to the guy. Beyond the fact that I have papers I really, really ought to be writing, I just don't think there's much left to say. On an extremely basic level, the dude does not apparently understand that sports and humor can coexist. That's pretty much all there is to say. There's really only one thing that I still feel the need to respond to, and it is perhaps the most important issue of all.

I speak, of course, about Rich Garces's tits.

First of all, I have to say I've always considered "tits" the seventh deadly word in much the same way Jimmy Nicol was the seventh Beatle. You know, because Ringo really resented being replaced by tits, even temporarily, and tits inspired the classic Sergeant Pepper's track "Fixing a Hole." That last part seemed really dirty. But you know what I know for a fact was dirty? This:

Random references to Ringo Starr and George Carlin? Hardcore Shining Time Station fans are currently going apeshit. I maybe once had a point about Rich Garces's tits, but I feel I've already made it thematically. Or something. I think my point was that no one should be offended by Rich Garces's tits, and I will defend to the death my right to laugh and/or leer at them.

3. My upcoming radio program on sports rap songs is, well, coming up. We'll be covering all the classics from The Super Bowl Shuffle to The Seventh Floor Crew (which, no, we won't actually be playing on the air), with plenty of Ramming It and Baseball Boogying in between. My cohost will be the foremost hip-hop expert I know, whose brother by a weird coincidence happens to be the author of the quite excellent Throwing Into Traffic. Also featuring interviews with With Leather's Matt Ufford and the AV Club's Nathan Rabin, this is sure to be the authoritative statement on hip-hop's most deliriously insane chapter. Well, it might be more like the footnote to a chapter, but still, it's worth covering.

You can tune in here this Saturday at 7:00 EST, and I'll also put up the complete program (featuring the full videos, not just the songs) after it's over in case you miss it. It should be fun.

4. In the meantime, go watch this. Change your pants, then repeat. You're welcome.

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