Thursday, May 22, 2008

God, I hate Skip Bayless...

This is only tangentially sports journalism related, but I was at a restaurant this afternoon and they had some dumbass show with Skip Bayless on one of the TVs (thankfully muted but unmercifully with subtitles). It caught my eye because they showed a clip of the new Indiana Jones movie and then apparently asked the question, "Is Indiana Jones the greatest non-super-powered action star?" Tangent: Isn't it more proper to say that Harrison Ford is the action star? Also what did ANY of this have to do with sports? Well, it's not like Skip Bayless is an expert in this either.

Skip's response, paraphrased:

No he's not. He's the worst! He's just a whiny archeology professor who's terrified of snakes. As much as I'm a fan of the Die Hard movies and Bruce Willis, I don't think John McClane would last two seconds with Jason Bourne.

Of course, Bayless said this with the utmost seriousness as if this was the most important issue of the day. He looked downright OUTRAGED. Thanks for ruining Die Hard and the Bourne movies for me, asshole. At least you didn't fuck up Indiana Jones, too, by saying you like it.

Seriously guys, I don't do serious here, but I'm a registered and sorta partisan Republican. I say this because I want to note that even though I have thought that Ted Kennedy has no business in government, I felt really bad when I found out he was sick and maybe dying the other day.

Having said that, if I found out that Skip Bayless had an inoperable malignant brain tumor... I don't think I'd feel so bad...

1 comment:

Chris W said...

Sure Jason Bourne would wreck John McClane. But Superman would wreck them both. That's not what makes action heroes badass.

John McClane was badass because he was a pretty normal guy who behaved in a totally badass way. We could be John McClane if we were as badass as Bruce Willis. Jason Bourne is a specially trained killing machine. That is not nearly as badass.

The only place where this rule of thumb of action heroes is patently false is in martial arts movies.

No fucking way is Daniel-San more badass than Wong Fei Hung.

In short: Skip Bayless sucks. Go Bulls.