I could tell you a pack of lies about midterms and essays due and traveling and other such crap to excuse my lack of posts recently. But honestly, you want to know the real reason? I've just been watching this on an endless loop...
If you need to watch that more than once, I understand. Believe me, that's pretty much all I do with my days. I mean, did you see the part with the whip and the trucks? That's way more badass than any previous whip action I've seen. Oh, and I've come to the conclusion that the theme music is quietly the best asskicking music around. I just hope all those Commies are former Nazis. Because nothing quite says "Indiana Jones" quite like fucking Nazi shit up. Also, I still can't believe Last Crusade gets away with making Hitler a minor comic character. You think that doesn't take stones? Watch and learn, folks, watch and learn:
God, when the hell is the new one coming out?
Ah...much better. So yeah, that's been taking up almost all of my time. But as it turns out, there is one thing that can coax me out of blogbernation (it's like hibernation, but with blogging...I dunno, would hiblognation have worked better? I say no, because that just looks like "high blog nation", which beyond being kinda redundant - I mean, which bloggers aren't constantly high? - also seems sorta pretentious and weird).
OK, clearly my love for endless tangents and meta-humor has not waned. That's good...I guess. Anyway, the point is that Marc Stein wrote something so obviously and flagrantly wrong, something so essentially incorrect and (most importantly) really quick to deal with, that I had to say something.
Basically, the man is talking about how this NBA season has been defined by blockbuster trades. True enough, no problems here. Let's hear what he has to say:
Hold up. Blockbusters never come in threes. We're actually lucky to get one a season.
So that's why when Pau Gasol, Shaquille O'Neal and Jason Kidd were all traded within a span of 19 days in February -- and especially when the run-and-gunners from Phoenix decided to break up their one-of-a-kind team to gamble on Shaq's keeping up with them -- this became the season synonymous with blockbuster deals.
Can't really argue that one. I'm sure if you go back far enough you'll find a season with trades of at least vaguely similar proportions, but I can't think of one, especially for the NBA. But still, that's kind of a quick item that hasn't yet said or even suggested anything new. Maybe you should expand it just a little, right Marc?
It's even truer when you go back to the draft and throw in Boston's landscaping-changing additions of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen before the season. Still not convinced? You will be when you factor in what the KG and Pau deals have done in terms of reviving the possibility of a Celtics-Lakers reunion in the NBA Finals after two decades without one. Or when you remember how rare it is to see established title contenders like Phoenix and Dallas make such a drastic in-season change and do so for morale reasons as much as anything.
Yes, good stuff, I am totally buying into this. Nothing essential or groundbreaking here, but it's definitely not wrong and is actually completely accurate, if a little boring. You can probably move on to some equally banal points about how crazy the West is now, I don't see what you have left to add other than some bullshit quote from a player. You know, something like Amare Stoudemire saying, "Yeah, these trades have really changed everything" or something equally revelatory and amazing. Wait, you've got more? Well, OK...
It's even truer when you go back to the draft and throw in Boston's landscaping-changing additions of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen before the season. Still not convinced? You will be when you factor in what the KG and Pau deals have done in terms of reviving the possibility of a Celtics-Lakers reunion in the NBA Finals after two decades without one. Or when you remember how rare it is to see established title contenders like Phoenix and Dallas make such a drastic in-season change and do so for morale reasons as much as anything.
Marc Stein, what the fuck!? You just repeated verbatim what you already wrote. Were you that desperate to reach the minimum word length? Who are you, Charles "I Got Paid By The Word Hence Explaining If Not Necessarily Excusing The Unnecessary Exposition in Great Expectations" Dickens?
I know people over at the Dot Com work fast to get material up, and, honestly, who would want to wait even a zeptosecond for choice pearls of wisdom like "This is the Wildest West Of All-Time!", "Boston Is Back!", and "Houston Can't Lose!" (a surprisingly ballsy thing to write, actually, considering how everyone and his mother - assuming everyone's mother is Woody the Prognosticating Female Groundhog - is picking the Lakers to end the Rockets' streak)? So yeah, I understand the rush to update. But deleting accidentally duplicated paragraphs is just basic editing. Hell, that's so basic they don't even teach that in basic editing. It's just sort of assumed.
Seriously, I'm guessing someone will notice this and correct it, so here's a screenshot....
And yeah, I know Marc Stein almost certainly didn't make that error; it was some anonymous editor or web formatter or something. But hey! Guess what? All of my posts are ghostwritten by some random dude I've never met named Python or something. I dunno, he slurs a little over the phone, and he keeps talking about rainbows having gravity or some bullshit. I mean, how does that work? They're just tricks of the light! And if I even sniff the presence of leprechauns I may have to fire his loopy ass.
Point is, if you guys hold me accountable for this Timmy Python character making dumbass mistakes like thinking Dennis Rodman and Ron Artest had similar skill sets, then I'm holding Marc Stein accountable for the actions of his editor. Fair enough?
Fuck it, how long until Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? I need to check again.
Not soon enough, my friends, not soon enough. I'll try to post 52 52 52 tonight, but that trailer is calling me away. I really think Cate Blanchett with weird haircut might actually kill Indy this time! Fucking commies...
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