Thursday, June 19, 2008

Bill Simmons: Non-It-Getter

Look, whatever problems I may have with the guy, one of his teams just won the championship, so I can't really argue he's not justified in another Celtics column. But this?

Note No. 1: "6/17"
If you're a numerology buff, then you'll enjoy this one: Game 6 was played on June 17 -- in other words, "6" (the number for June, as well as the number of games in the Finals) and "17" (the number of Boston championships if you include one for 2008). Two of the four greatest Celtics of all-time -- Bill Russell and John Havlicek -- wore "6" and "17," respectively. And if you add 6+1+7, you'd get "14," the number worn by Bob Cousy, another one of the four greatest Celtics ever. (If you want to really stretch it, 3 + 3 = 6, and "33" was worn by Larry Bird, the fourth in the "greatest Celtics ever" group.) If that's not enough, the area code for Boston is "617." And on a somber note, the 1986 draft happened June 17 -- really, the last day the Celtics felt like they were invincible.

Look, that's some pretty dumb stuff right there. It speaks to the complete and utter inanity of the exercise when Bill himself admits the Bird thing is a stretch, but still...whatever, no biggie. As long as nobody attaches any actual weight to it, it's just a somewhat silly parlor game. But then to end with this...

I don't know what all of this means, but it means something, right?

That...that's just painful to read. I mean, honestly...I'm not going to pile on too much here, but it's just disappointing to see someone trot out all this pointless, vaguely interesting crap and then somehow end up thinking there's something to it. I guess I could make a somewhat assholish point about the nature of faith here, but I'll hold back. Just...dammit, man, I thought Simmons was finally headed in the right direction.

Seriously, where the hell is skepticism when we need it most? Huh...turns out - and I had no idea this was the case before I looked it up - it returns this very day.

You know what? Have a taste. Be my guest.

Bring on "The War on Porn"! And no, I won't be writing an awkward sketch teaming up Penn & Teller with Willie Randolph or something like that. Although...

1 comment:

Passive Voice said...

Fuck the rest of it, but I sort of think the area code thing is a neat coincidence. Aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway. I'm always tired of the blogohate lumped on Boston fans, but their singing "nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey-ey-ey, goodbyyyyyyyyye" was just about the lamest thing I've ever seen. Double aaaaaaaaaaaanyway. My god Swedish soccer fans are attractive.