Friday, June 6, 2008

I bleeping HATE The Love Guru

It's movie week here at Fire Everybody!, apparently, because I have a random, almost sports-related point to make about the latest Mike Myers crime against humanity, The Love Guru.

There may be nothing I have ever hated more on first sight than The Love Guru, and I absolutely include Mind of Mencia in that statement. I'm not really a fan of racial humor in general, but my main issue with The Love Guru isn't that it's offensive. It's that it's lazily offensive, trafficking in the sort of stereotypes that were creaky even back when Vaudevillian assholes like Sally Stembler and Edward Meeker were trotting them out. If you're going to be culturally insensitive, I guess that's OK, but at least have the common decency to actually be funny. See Life of Brian for the all-time best example of this:

Suck on that, Pat Robertson!!!

I may have more on my issues with The Love Guru over at Hialeah Crimson (you's that other blog I'm supposed to blog for but, well, haven't yet), but I really should keep this at least somewhat sports-related. What I can't get over is that, judging from the trailers (and it'll be a cold day in hell when I embed those on this site), The Love Guru appears to be 25% lazy Indian stereotypes, 25% lazy little people jokes, 25% leering shots of Jessica Alba, 25% tribute to Mike Myers's epic sexuality, and 8,000% commercial for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

I know Myers is Canadian and shit (he was technically born in Britain, hence the "and shit"), but what the fuck? In what had damn well better be the most painful research I'll ever have to do for this blog, I watched the three trailers on the movie's website and counted at least twenty distinct shots of the Maple Leaf logo (and that's not even counting Verne Troyer's fucking Maple Leaf tie). Seriously, judging from the trailers, half the movie's plot is somehow tied up with a Maple Leafs game. And unless this is some sort of secret remake of Sudden Death, I am NOT cool with that.

The sad thing is that this is easily the most national exposure the NHL has gotten in nearly a decade. Can the latest Mike Myers recycled stereotype extravaganza succeed where Sidney Crosby has failed? And more to the point, NHL fans, if the revitalization on your league is built on the motherfucking Love Guru, is it even worth it?

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