Friday, June 27, 2008

The New Original Column #1: How's about an introduction?

Finally making good on my promise of gimmicks as far as the eye can see, I am pleased to unveil that most original of premises, a column. It's just like what the MSM (not to mention Big Daddy Balls) do, but written by me. And since a random Spinal Tap reference was the best I could come up with for a title, you can rest assured that I'll be trying again next week. I just felt "It's a column, stupid!" was a little much.

Because the world in sports is so busy today, what with the blogosphere still reeling at the news of Mayo-for-Love Will Leitch's departure, I'll keep this pretty short. Hell, I'm not sure how much longer this will be than the italicized intro thingy up top, but what the hey?

Basically, I generally try my best to avoid discussing actual sports on this blog. This is because, if I can get my Socrates on for a second here, the only thing I know about sports is that I know nothing. I refuse to claim there are very many absolute truths in a sports world where...

1. In the last decade, an 83-win team won the World Series while a 116-win team couldn't even push the ALCS to game six.

2. The Boston Celtics had more of a challenge finishing off the Atlanta Hawks than the Los Angeles Lakers.

3. Eli Manning went from confused semi-bust to Super Bowl hero in less than a month.

4. Something weird about hockey, if only for symmetry's sake.

Now, obviously, the proper response here isn't to turn around and say "Sports is inexplicable, so let's start bullshitting!" That's the Way of the Plaschke, and I won't stand for it. There are no end of valid, interesting ways to interact with sports, and I probably don't need to bore you with a list delineating all of them. (And since I'm trying to actually follow my new "no navel-gazing" rule, I don't really want to get into what would essentially be plugs for a bunch of great sites that don't really need the Micklewhite Boost*.)

*The Micklewhite Boost is a proud rip-off of the Colbert Bump.

There's plenty of stuff to talk about in the world of sports and, frankly, I've got more than enough time on my hands to do it. I'll start in earnest next week, but right now I think I'm just going to make the most of Mr. Leitch's last day in the blogosphere. Well, until he comes back, anyway. Departures are never quite as final as they used to be, you know.


Jonathan said...

I look forward to it.

Passive Voice said...

My word verification jumble of letters is "jewronbq". Just a heads-up.

Anyway, man, this shit's a blog all of a sudden. I like it.