Monday, April 14, 2008

Blast!

Djmmm46 already got to PK this morning. I knew I should have stayed up all night and done it at 4 am. I'd like to offer an alternative view of the exact same passage:

c. All you idiots at Fenway who booed David Ortiz (it was scattered, certainly nothing near a majority) the other night should have your human-being licenses revoked. Ortiz is 3-for-43 in one-fourteenth of the season. For everything he's done the past four years, he's a guy you shouldn't boo, even if he finishes the year 3-for-543.

Emphasis mine. I like going on the premise that Peter King is openly advocating either a huge fan eradication effort or, at the very least, a program to put these people in a zoo like they so richly deserve.

Anyway, for the rest of the crazy:

a. Was it just me, or was that first post-strike episode of The Office a creep show? Hard to explain, but the Jan and Michael stuff at home was over-the-line weird to me. Maybe I just expected too much from the return of this great show. But that one went too far over the bizarre line.

Counterpoint: It was fucking awesome. And way to write creatively with "over the line" twice.

d. Riotous job done by Joba Chamberlain introducing the Yankees' starting lineup on Fox Saturday baseball. Quippy job. When he came to the eighth spot in the order and catcher Jose Molina, he said, "Batting eighth, of the 27 Molinas in baseball, name that Molina, ours is Jose.''

I'm going to pull a Peter King and repeat myself: way to write creatively with "___ job" twice.

g. Sure hope D-Backs third baseman Mark Reynolds is the genuine item, seeing that I just traded a third of my rotisserie team for him. What say you, Will Carroll?

I know nothing about fantasy baseball, but this seems stupid. Moving on.

j. Tiger Woods had a bit of an Ortiz-ish weekend, from the glimpses I saw.

Why? He came in second. NEXT!

o. Every community in America should have a coffee shop like The Barge in Hamilton. People drinking great coffee. Conversing. Thinking. Reading. Lots of people reading. No TVs. I'm serious: It's almost worth the trip even if you have no intention of doing anything else in central New York.

I just...vomited. All over everything. If you're counting (you're not), that's an impressive 6 sentences with a total of 13 words. The whole "Conversing. Thinking." thing actually makes me embarrassed for him. God, I just read it again. I can't think of anything else to say. I'm mortified.

1 comment:

Djmmm46 said...

Just three, man. They are my initials. Mysterious Man of Mystery. But also a DISC JOCKEY!

God, how I hate Peter King. I almost pointed out that there was something vaguely Final Solutionish about the "human being licenses" thing, but I decided against that for the sake of good taste.