Fire Jon Heyman's Scout

Because he sucks:

Scout's Take On...

Yunel Escobar, Atlanta Braves: "He's solid in all phases of the game - hitting, fielding, everything. He can do everything. He doesn't have the blazing speed like Jose Reyes. He's not flashy. But he can do everything well. He doesn't try to do too much. He makes good contact, and he shows a lot of discipline at the plate. He's impressed me. He's a good all-around player.''

Notice that J-Hey has dropped the "in-depth" part. This of course gives the scout much more leeway to meander about and tell us nothing. My attempt to translate:

"He's good at everything, including the 2 things he's most commonly relied upon to do, plus everything. He can do everything. He's not insanely fast, and he's not a meaningless term. But he's good at everything. He doesn't do a meaningless thing. He's good at part of his job, and he's good at a more general part of his job. I think he's good. He's good at everything."

The only useful thing we really learn is that he's disciplined at the plate and maybe, if we're being generous, that he's not very fast. "Makes good contact" is meaningless (Frequent contact? Hits it hard when he does?) and the rest is just various restatements of "all-around good".

Seriously, I hate this guy.