Monday, April 28, 2008


So there's a solid article on the Canucks' website about 2006 first-round draft pick Michael Grabner. The headline on the main page is

A Career Changer for Grabner

From there we get:

Manitoba rookie forward Michael Grabner wanted a hobby in the middle of the season. Well, maybe “wanted” is over-stating it. He really needed it.

Hmm. Bored in Winnipeg. Shocker.

He had a lot of free time since Moose coach Scott Arniel was cutting into his minutes. He had to find something to stimulate some growth, since he had wasted down to 171 pounds from his normal weight of 185.

Uh huh. Mesmerizing.

This is the part of the tale where your typical hotshot prospect invests in a good video game system, or maybe buys a new car.

I guess.

Grabner took a different route. He joined a gym near his Winnipeg residence. After all, what could be better after a regular practice and lifting session than doing a couple more hours of cardio and weights?

Oh. Wait. mean he joined a...a gym? Like...a place to work out? Yes? And Michael Grabner is an inspirational 12-year-old boy who had his arm amputated after a lawn tractor accident? No? He's a professional goddamn athlete whose only real job is to maintain his physical fitness? That merited an article? That's the first thing visitor's to the site will see? For a team that just hired a new GM? Really?

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