Saturday, April 26, 2008

Don Banks is Good at Math, or alternatively, NITPICK NITPICK NITPICK

Don "Donnie Brisco lulz rowlflflf hahahah good one Peter" Banks is in Crazytown (remember that band? The "butterfly" one?) USA to cover the Cowboys' draft for the liveblog. He has this to say:

They need a running back to pair with Marion Barber, another cornerback (even if Jones gets to play this year), and a receiver who can both get open and lower the median age at a position populated by Class of 1996 draft picks Terrell Owens and Terry Glenn.

The Cowboys' current roster lists WRs aged 34, 33, 29, 25, 23, 23, 23, for a median of 25. Bringing in a 21ish rookie would lower that to....24.

Supposing he's just counting TO and Glenn, bringing in the rookie would lower THAT median from 33.5 all the way to 33.

Anyway, do we all know what he's talking about (average, or mean)? Yes. Is he allowed to throw around words in an incorrect manner? Probably yeah, actually. I mean, I've gotta be the only person in the world with the time on his hands to write a blog post like this. Whatever, the draft's here and I'm feeling good because someone is going to spend $10 trillion on Vernon Gholston's "potential" and that one drive Matt Ryan did at Virginia Tech.

Additional Weirdness from the liveblog:

Every mock draft east of Bhopal, India seems to have the Cowboys taking Arkansas running back Felix Jones at No. 22, and then going cornerback at No. 28

Not like those idiots in Vadodara, am I right? They don't know shit!

And also this:

Draft weekend for me started about 41 hours ago when Brett Favre and Matt Hasselbeck shared their fondness for butt

I got to about here, and I quickly thought "Oh, Peter King" and prepared myself for the words "hole stimulation by means of a sportswriter's tongue". So imagine my surprise at seeing:
pads with a room full of corporate bigwigs.

Needless to say, I was devastated. The good news is that the writer, one Dominic Bonvissuto, doesn't seem like a complete chump.

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